Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the best part of living in Switzerland?

Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.

Whats long and black and hard to cut into?

The line at KFC

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ?

With their eyes shut !

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

What do you call a drug-addicted vampire?

Crackula

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

What did the cop say to Boris Yosanavich after pulling him over for speeding?

Quit Russian.

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

What's the best thing to do with a thimble?

Bang it with a drum-thtick!

Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?

It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.