Addict Jokes

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Which country has a drug-addicted king?

Hyrule.

What's the most popular religion for addicts?

the Crystal Methodists

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

Who is the favorite author of someone addicted to ecstasy?

Steven King. JK Rowling.

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!

Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

because he was in Da-Nile

Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab?

Because he was addicted to Coke.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

What did the power ranger-turned-addict say?

It's morphine time!

What do you call a drug-addicted vampire?

Crackula

What do you call a drug-addicted canine?

A meth lab!

How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS

What do you call a drug-addicted duck?

A quackhead.

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

Why are wires addicted to electricity?

They can't resist.

Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

What did the drug test say to the addict?

URINE TROUBLE!"

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

You might also enjoy:

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

What do you call a reliable coke dealer?

Instagram

How do hipsters buy their drugs?

by the instagram.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

A: Luters.

Liner Jokes More Liner Jokes

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What's yellow and smells like a zebra?

Lion vomit.

What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common?

Both are full of white trash and smell like burning oil.

Sand Jokes More Sand Jokes

What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?

A rough draft

What is the worst type of sand to have in your pants?

Sandusky

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How long were you at your last job?

A: "Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"

Why did the one eyed banker lose his job?

He didn't have any debtperception.

Worker Jokes More Worker Jokes

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's

Coke Jokes More Coke Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What do you call a person who drinks way too much soda?

A Coke-o-nut.