Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

What do you call a good looking canyon?

Gorge-ous

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's the difference between a women's track team and a group of midgets playing chess?

The latter is a group of cunning runts.

What do you call a person who plays the viola?

A: A violator.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

Why is football the single best sport?

Because americans don't play it.

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good