Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp?

A reptile-dysfunction.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What part of a fish weighs the most ?

It's scales !

What's as big as a horse but weighs nothing?

A horses shadow!