Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

Onions" was his dog... D:

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?

Delighted.

How do you know when your dog is a bad hot dog?

When it's pure bread.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

How many men are in each corner?

3/5

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Why was the Hay Robber's prison sentence cut short?

He got out on bale.

D Jokes More D Jokes

What do you call a Doctor who received all 'D's in Medical School?

Doctor

Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop D

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

Where do onions wrestle?

Onion rings.