Why do girls NOT like Jesus?

NSFW Because every time he gets nailed it takes him 3 days to get it back up again.

This joke may have profanity.

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Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

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What did the people who hung Jesus to the cross say?

Nailed it

What do you think Jesus' favorite gun would be?

A nail gun

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How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies?

He only got nailed once

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

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How long does it take to drive across France?

3 days by panzer

What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

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