Why do old men take Viagra?

It stops them from rolling out of bed.

This joke may have profanity.

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How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed?

An under cover cop.

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Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

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What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach?

Sandy

What goes red and white, red and white, red and white?

Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

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Why don't old men like old women?

Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich

Why did the old man get kicked off the nudist colony's golf course?

He kept leaving ball marks on the greens.

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