Why is fruit so expensive?

I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the opera singer go sailing?

They wanted to hit the high Cs.

What do you call a movie producer that gives you more detail than you really wanted?

TMI Burton.

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Why are we running so fast?

asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday?

Just chilling.

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

Jeffrey Dahmer!

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Raspberry Jokes More Raspberry Jokes

What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?

A red jellyfish.

What do you call blueberries, raspberries and strawberries inside of a hidden chest?

Berried Treasure.