Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

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Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What do a baby and a martini have in common?

I prefer both of them shaken

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

How are martinis like breasts?

They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.

Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?

He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.

James Bond Jokes More James Bond Jokes

How does James Bond sleep?

Around.

What do you call James Bond in the bathtub?

Bubble-0-7

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.