Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

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Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children?

He prefers them shaken, not stirred.

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

How are martinis like breasts?

They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.

James Bond Jokes More James Bond Jokes

How does James Bond type e-mails?

With his goldfinger.

What type of car does James Bond drive?

00-Sedan

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."?

No one should be that happy.