Amish Woman Jokes

Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband?

Because he was driving her buggy.

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How do you make an Amish woman happy?

Three Men-A-Night

What do all Amish women want?

2 Mennonite.

How do you please an Amish woman?

Give her two Mennonite

Why did the Amish woman get pregnant?

Because she was seeing too many Mennonite.

How many men does it take to get an Amish woman pregnant?

Two men a nite.

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Mennonite Jokes More Mennonite Jokes

What is every Amish woman's dream?

Two Mennonite.

What is an Hommish woman's fantasy?

Two Mennonite

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What's the definition of divorce?

The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

Why is it so expensive to divorce a woman here in California?

Because it's worth it.

Amish Jokes More Amish Jokes

Why was the Amish girl excommunicated?

Two men a night.

Why don't the Amish waterski?

The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

Why couldn't Hillary win the election?

Women only win .7 votes for every one a man wins.