Amish Jokes

Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband?

Because he was driving her buggy.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

When an Amish buggy breaks down on the side of the road, who do they call?

Triple Hay

Why was the Amish girl kicked out of her community?

Too Mennonite

Why was the Amish girl excommunicated?

Two men a night.

How do you make an Amish woman happy?

Three Men-A-Night

What's the difference between the Amish and a Ferrari?

About 568 horses.

What do you call a cute girl in an Amish church?

A visitor.

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

Why isn't Kanye West allowed in rural Pennsylvania?

An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of.

What did the Amish IT guy say about the computer?

It was a bit buggy.

How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A what?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do all Amish women want?

2 Mennonite.

Why don't the Amish waterski?

The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH

Why don't Amish people water ski?

Because their horses would drown.

What do all Amish girls want?

Two Mennonite

Why was the Amish girl excommunicated ?

Too Mennonite." - Hitchens

How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball?

It's skirts versus shins.

What goes clop, clop, bang bang bangbangbang!clop,clop,clop?

An amish driveby

How do you castrate an Amish man?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?

A mechanic.

What is every Amish woman's dream?

Two Mennonite.

How are the Mafia and the Amish similar?

They both don't like wires

How do you please an Amish woman?

Give her two Mennonite

What's the most played song at Amish parties?

Churn Down For What

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse?

A mechanic.

What do you call a group of Amish children?

Amlets. (I'll see myself out)

Why should you always invite Amish people to a party?

They know how to raise the roof.

How many Amish guys does it take it satisfy an Amish whore?

Two men-a-night!

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the Amish woman get pregnant?

Because she was seeing too many Mennonite.

How many men does it take to get an Amish woman pregnant?

Two men a nite.

Why was the Amish girl shunned?

Too Mennonite.

What does an Amish drive by shooting sound like?

clop clop clop, bang bang, clop clop clop*

How many Amish guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One... I mean, they aren't fucking retarded.

This joke may have profanity.

How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A what?

You might also enjoy:

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Pollyanna's does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's too dark.

How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They only screw playoff games

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

A: Because Donald ducked.

How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun?

Shoot the people pushing it.

Amish Drive Jokes More Amish Drive Jokes

What goes "clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?

An Amish drive by.

What goes clop clop clop - BANG! BANG! BANG! - clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Amish Girl Jokes More Amish Girl Jokes

Why was the Amish girl excommunicated ?

Too Mennonite." - Hitchens

Why was the Amish girl kicked out of her community?

Too Mennonite

Amish People Jokes More Amish People Jokes

Why should you always invite Amish people to a party?

They know how to raise the roof.

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

How do u castrate a priest ?

Kick the alter boy in the chin )

How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date?

Premature emasculation.