Contraceptive Jokes

Why was the woman with no children so good at konami games?

She takes contraceptives.

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What does a feminist use as a contraceptive?

Her personality

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Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?

A: To keep the swelling down.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart?

An actress.

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

Method Jokes More Method Jokes

How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on which method you try....

What method did SFML perform when the Human lost to the AI?

Text.GetRect()

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

Why didn't Timmy get his parents Christmas presents?

He's an orphan.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What did the Elephant say while scolding her children?

Tusk Tusk I am so sorry

What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child?

A-flat minor

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed?

I trussed you.

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left! Bwahahahahaha