Mallard Jokes

What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

One of you is a sick duck, and I forget the rest, but your mother's a whore!

This joke may have profanity.

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What did the mallard yell in the drive-by shooting?

Duck!!!

What is the media of choice for the mallard?

lololololololol-- --lololololol

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When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ?

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What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?

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How did the media find out that princess Diana had dandruff?

They saw her head and shoulders in the glove compartment

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

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What did the potato say to his lover?

You have amazing eyes.

What Does Potato Do?

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What do you yell at a Muslim striptease?

Show me your nose!"

Why does mom always yell at you?

Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you're stupid

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What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?

A: Everything's $100.

What do you call a cross between a dog and a turtle?

A cross. The animals around it have no effect on its name duh.

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

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Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why did the duck cross the basketball court?

He heard the referees were blowing fouls... -Jim Norton

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.