Marry People Jokes

What's a social media for married people?

Weddit

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why is a room full of married people empty?

A: There isn't a single person in it.

What do married people do for fun?

Get divorced.

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Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

Because Dey-go-bah.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

How can you tell if a girl is under 18?

Ask her if she is a Bernie Sanders supporter.

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

How do you know you're always about to have fun in the company of an octopus?

Because it's always ten-to-cool time...

What do turtles do for fun?

Play hide and shell.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you do to relax?

I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know.

What do you call a cat who watches dirty movies?

A purrvert.

Social Medium Jokes More Social Medium Jokes

What is reddit?

A-social media

What's a social media for married people?

Weddit

Holiday Season Jokes More Holiday Season Jokes

What do black people drink during the Holiday Season?

Nignog

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How high are you! ?

demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.

When are YOU going to start having kids?

Me: When are you going to stop