Marry People Jokes

What's a social media for married people?

Weddit

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why is a room full of married people empty?

A: There isn't a single person in it.

What do married people do for fun?

Get divorced.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like

What time do kids need naps?

A: At whine o'clock.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How do you feel?

Asks the fluoride ion. "Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied.

What do you do for a living?

The engineer replies " I make chips" "Oh yummy!"

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS?

It is a no spin zone

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the thin line between love and hate?

A condom.

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a deaf person to shut up?

Here, hold this."

How do you know if someone is a socialist?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Holiday Season Jokes More Holiday Season Jokes

How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?

Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.