Mineral Jokes

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

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What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

How can you tell if you're on a Starcraft diet?

Not enough minerals.

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

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What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors?

Scissor me timbers!

Why wasn't the pediatrician impressed with the new year's eve Times Square ball drop?

Because he has seen plenty of balls drop. (Sorry)

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Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

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Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it. LOL LOL

How do you spell hypocrisy?

R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N

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What is the Catholic Church giving up for Lent?

Answer: The Pope!

How does the Catholic Church make their holy water?

They boil the hell out of it.

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How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

How can you tell someone is a vegan, cross fitter, or an atheist?

alt) Make a joke about them, and then they'll get real offended.

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What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

Which wrestler's weakness is the rain?

Dwayne Johnson

Nutritionist Jokes More Nutritionist Jokes

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist?

A carb-o-rater

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Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.