Mineral Jokes

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

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What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

How can you tell if you're on a Starcraft diet?

Not enough minerals.

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

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Nutritionist Jokes More Nutritionist Jokes

What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist?

A carb-o-rater

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff?

So it would push back.

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Miner Jokes More Miner Jokes

What's the difference between a mining company and priests?

A mining company puts miners in shafts.

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners... XD

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Hal 9000 computer systems does it take to change a lightbulb?

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot do that"

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan (This probably has been posted earlier but is still funny )

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What do you call a drug dealing church?

Crystal Methodists

Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate?

It made it easier to deal with high C's

Dwayne Jokes More Dwayne Jokes

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...