Schizophrenic Jokes

What do you call a schizophrenic in a white dress?

Your Holiness.

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Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

because they never drink alone.

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Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What should it sound like when it's connecting?

guy in the back stands up confidently Pterodactyls

What sound does a bouncing plane make?

Boeing boeing boeing

Halloumi Jokes More Halloumi Jokes

What did the cheese say to its reflection?

Halloumi!

Which cheese is schizophrenic?

Halloumi

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do a pirate wench and an alcoholic have in common?

They've both got a little Captain in them.

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of Absinthe.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What goes ha, ha, ha, clunk?

A man laughing his head off.

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

Why wasn't meek mills phone working?

Because it wasn't "charged up"

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)