Schizophrenic Jokes

What do you call a schizophrenic in a white dress?

Your Holiness.

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Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

because they never drink alone.

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Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it... ...take to change a light bulb?

0, the light bulb has to want to change itself.

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?

You know you need a psychiatrist!

Holiness Jokes More Holiness Jokes

What do you call the pope after a drive by?

Your holiness"

What do you call a schizophrenic in a white dress?

Your Holiness.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a plant is sad?

The other plants have to photosympathize with it

What happens when a pizzaman does an AMA on Reddit?

OP delivers.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

It's in Decembrrrrr.

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do baby parabola drink?

Their Quadratic Formula!

What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why is Xena never charged with any crime?

Because she's Lucy Lawless

What do pirate farmers charge for their corn?

A buccaneer

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why do so many Australian men experience premature ejeculation?

Because they cant wait to get out and tell all their friends about scoring.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay"

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.