Holiness Jokes

What do you call the pope after a drive by?

Your holiness"

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What do you call a schizophrenic in a white dress?

Your Holiness.

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Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Schizophrenic Jokes More Schizophrenic Jokes

Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

because they never drink alone.

What do you call a schizophrenic in a white dress?

Your Holiness.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

Where do you see yourself exploding in five years?

they asked.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower !

Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?

They need clean air.

Holy Water Jokes More Holy Water Jokes

What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil?

A religious movement!

Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water?

She was taking god's name in vein.

Jesus ' Disciple Jokes More Jesus ' Disciple Jokes

Who's that?

Darth Vader." "Was he 1 of Jesus disciples " "I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."

What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes?

HOLY MACKAREL!

Pastor Jokes More Pastor Jokes

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What did the pastor say when informing two fruits that they couldn't marry?

No, you cantaloupe.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

Who serves the toilet?

The buuttt-lerrr!