Telescope Jokes

Why do telescopes like the Moon so much?

Because they find him very down to earth.

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How many times can look at the sun with a telescope?

You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!

Where are all the women in amateur astronomy?

At the other end of the telescope.

What did the astronomer say to the telescope in lingerie?

Hubble, Hubble."

What is the singular form of binoculars?

telescope

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What's the paradox of 'lingerie'?

Done right, it doesn't linger.

What did the astronomer say to the telescope in lingerie?

Hubble, Hubble."

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Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

What does the last man on earth watch on tv?

Reruns

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff?

We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box.

What do you call a Mexican who can't find his vehicle?

Carlos.

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What's the singular form of 'werewolves'?

I am a wolf

What is the singular form of binoculars?

telescope

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was the stadium so cool?

it was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time

What do you call an Asian who is always on time?

Thai Mingh Ha. Ha. Ha.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

Why didn't the sun go to college?

It already had 10 thousand degrees.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild ?

A 100$ bill

What does a muslim man call a woman he wants to sleep with, but can't due to religious reasons?

Harambae