Villain Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

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How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?

Not in a kids movie, dude. "Ok, but it's puppy skin " - Oh, then YES!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Where do super-villains get their coffee?

DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts.

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black man?

Someone who steals your job then doesn't show up.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

Ea Jokes More Ea Jokes

Who's the worst villain in more games than any other?

What did EA give Sean Murray for a parting gift upon leaving EA?

Game dev lessons.

Robber Duck Jokes More Robber Duck Jokes

Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

Robber ducks !

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

Where do fleas go in winter?

Werewolf: Search me!

Why does the U.S. Government hate winter?

Because everything isis

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the Pharaoh feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt

How do you feel about the upcoming Tour de France?

I'm gonna give 110%

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

Heroin Jokes More Heroin Jokes

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why was the centipede late ?

Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !

Why can't DJs play pool?

A: They always scratch.