What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What's Gordon Ramsey's second favorite movie?

FROZE-- oh, nevermind.

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What do you call alcohol in a birdbath?

Tequila Mockingbird!

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Form Jokes More Form Jokes

How many Global Warming nutjobs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't use light bulbs. They live in caves and use no forms of artificial energy because they wouldn't want to be perceived as hypocrites or morons.

What form of humor do Dentists find most offensive?

Plaqueface

Dissolve Jokes More Dissolve Jokes

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve?

Because he wasn't polar

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!