How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife?

Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her

How about a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house?

Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway.

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?"

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

Grenade Jokes More Grenade Jokes

How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?

If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.

What to do when a blonde throws a grenade at you... What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme?

Ring Around the Rooooozaaay.

What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.