How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How much do you love kids?

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love kids?

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's wet on the inside, hairy on the outside, starts with C and ends in T?

Coconut.

What did Hillary say when she lost?

Putin end to my life.

Hot Dog Jokes More Hot Dog Jokes

What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

I'm a wiener!"

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'?

A monster in a traffic jam.

Gasp Jokes More Gasp Jokes

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.