How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

What did the pirate say when his kids were about to watch their favorite cartoon?

ARE YE READY KIDS !

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)

What does train tracks and breast have in common?

They are both ment for boys but in the end it's the men who plays with them

Hot Dog Jokes More Hot Dog Jokes

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Take away its chair.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?

Take his spade away.

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

Lots of very worried dogs.

Gasp Jokes More Gasp Jokes

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.