Hot Dog Jokes

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

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What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.

What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog?

I have no idea...

What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside?

A hot dog.

What does the hot dog say when it crosses the finish line?

I'm the wiener!

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

What do uou call a hot dog in college?

A FRATwurst! Hahahahahaha

What do you call a woman who rents out hot dogs?

Lisa Frank

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What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

What do cows like to put on their hot dogs?

moostard

What do you give a dog with a fever?

A: Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

What do you call a canine that lives at the beach?

A hot dog.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?

Hot dog!'

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Take away its chair.

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill?

He uses his Donkey Tongs.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

I'm a wiener!"

What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?

Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Why did the dog go into the water?

Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a dyslectic to take the left turn on the road?

Turn toward your side!

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

Clothing Jokes More Clothing Jokes

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

Which article of clothing is the most ghetto?

A Hoodie.

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are black people so good at basketball?

Cause all they know to do is steal, run, and shoot

What did the Flower say to the Bees?

You know you want it, Honey"

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can! Why can't humans?

Because they'll bite us!

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

Fever Jokes More Fever Jokes

What do you give a dog with a fever?

A: Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband right before she got on the Challenger Shuttle?

Honey you feed the dog I'll feed the fish.

Where do football directors go when they are fed up ?

The bored room !

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What do you call a Hispanic woman with no legs?

Consuelo! My mother told me this one

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.