Hot Dog Jokes

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

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What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.

What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog?

I have no idea...

What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside?

A hot dog.

What does the hot dog say when it crosses the finish line?

I'm the wiener!

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

What do uou call a hot dog in college?

A FRATwurst! Hahahahahaha

What do you call a woman who rents out hot dogs?

Lisa Frank

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What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

What do cows like to put on their hot dogs?

moostard

What do you give a dog with a fever?

A: Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

What do you call a canine that lives at the beach?

A hot dog.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?

Hot dog!'

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Take away its chair.

What did one dog say to the other dog?

I like "Hot Dogs".

What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill?

He uses his Donkey Tongs.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

I'm a wiener!"

What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?

Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Why did the dog go into the water?

Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

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Where do books sleep?

A: Under their covers.

What book did the rabbit take on vacation?

One with a hoppy ending.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

Hot Dog Vendor Jokes More Hot Dog Vendor Jokes

What did the monk say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything."

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's Irish and sits on your lawn?

paddy o' furniture

What is the softest part of a wheel chair?

The vegtable sitting in it

Fever Jokes More Fever Jokes

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

What do you give a dog with a fever?

A: Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry

What do you do if you get bit by something poisonous?

Don't bite it back in retaliation.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.