How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Nobody knows, there's no light.

How do you know he isn't?

Because I am.

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How did your blind date go?

Bit of a disaster really, our guide Dogs started Fighting

How many people does it take to start a riot?

3/5

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What made the vampire a gentlemen?

They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside.

What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What was the Olympic lifter missing from his bar ?

Weight for it...

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What shoe can fit 206 million feet in it?

Honshu!

How Many Martians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?

At least two, but they have to be pretty small to fit.

Wife Clothe Jokes More Wife Clothe Jokes

When to leave your girlfriend?

When your wife's clothes start to fit her.

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.