How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

How are whores and movies alike?

You pay up front for both and even if it's bad, you don't get a refund for either.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many girlfriends does it take to change a light bulb?

It has to change for itself.

How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But he has to check it 100 times one for each watt.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call Harper Lee's Mexican flying animal?

Tequila Mockingbird.

Why do Mexicans make refried beans?

Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Vladimir Putins' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they didn't Putin enough effort. Just a play on his last name, nothing more.

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?

Deport Jokes More Deport Jokes

How do you make a pole angry?

Deport him.

What do you do when your lawnmower stops working?

Deport him

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.