What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent?

Thanks for opening my mind.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic?

He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? A broken pencil. A broken pencil who?

Never mind. It's pointless.

What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night?

Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why do a lot of tech recruiters have herpes?

Because they look for contributors to open sores.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

Opponent Jokes More Opponent Jokes

How did the OBGYN win the election?

He was able to stirrup some controversy about his opponent with his effective smear campaign.

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.