What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent?

Thanks for opening my mind.

Why did u shoot your wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot your wife instead of shootingher lover? Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep?

Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul.

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind?

Second Caribou: A maybee.

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning?

A: She opens the car door.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

Who survives?

America.

Opponent Jokes More Opponent Jokes

What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen?

Sorry mate.

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.