What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane?

Aren't they themselves a carry-on?

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

What does a pirate's beard feel like?

Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt?

A Terra Bite

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry.

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

Xanax Jokes More Xanax Jokes

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

AU, get outta here!"

Who's the new guy?

And the bartender says, I don't know, but I've heard he's a shady character!