What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

When they get to third base they think they've scored

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?

Stone.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

How do calculus students feel about undefined slopes in Cartesian planes?

Indifferential.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

How many mexicans do you need to screw a lightbulb?

Juan

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Xanax Jokes More Xanax Jokes

Why does a Mexican take Xanax?

For his Borderline Personality Disorder.

Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax?

To stop Hispanic attacks.

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

What in the world is this?

The bartender says, "Central Park."