What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

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Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

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How did the fruits get married?

They Cantaeloped!

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

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What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What kind of bat hangs upside-down?

An acrobat.

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What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Cantaloupe.

Why can't watermelons get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

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Why is it so important to fruits to get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone?

A banana-nana-nana Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.