What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

What's the difference between a mining company and priests?

A mining company puts miners in shafts.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

How do you make a baby cry?

Drop it. How do you make a baby stop crying? Drop it again.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a tree?

Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off.

What is the best way to cut a mango?

With a knife!

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What do you get when you mix pie and onions?

Opinions!

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.