What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

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Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What do you call an NBA Superstar who's first job was stocking milk?

Legen-dairy*

Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?

Because the cow has the utter.

Hard Jokes More Hard Jokes

What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS?

Acting surprised.

What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?

You really have to nail it

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

How do you spot the vegan at a party?

They'll tell you.

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What do you call 5 people sitting In two rows?

Tetris

What does fast and furious 5 and the walking dead have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What does a scientologist and an almond have in common?

They are both nuts.

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.