What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What were the last words Jimi Hendrix said before he died?

S'cuse me, while I kiss the sky...*

Ever wondered why bees hum?

It's because they don't know the words.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem."

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

Annoy Jokes More Annoy Jokes

Which Greek god was annoyed by his invitation to the Goddess Dyslexia's party?

Ares.

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?

A noisy noise annoys an oyster.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why don't people get married in North Korea?

Well, all marriages are legal in North Korea, but no one has them because there's no rice to throw.

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer lol

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.