Who could that be?

It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How heavy is a photon?

I don't know, but it's probably light-weight

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What did the white guy say when he found out his sister got knocked up by her black boyfriend?

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"

How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?

A: Knock on the door.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

What does it taste like when you go down... What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady?

Depends...

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why should you always invite Amish people to a party?

They know how to raise the roof.

Why did the doorman get a raise?

He was always out standing.

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

Why did the burglar take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway