Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!" ::Whack::

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why was Mexico willing to pay to build the wall between the US and Mexico?

So the can finally have a good Olympic team.

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

How do pirates like their jigsaws?

A: In pieces of eight.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken.

Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Why did the lemon turn green?

Because he had lime disease

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??

A Cantaloupe.

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla?

My zipper

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals