Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

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What do you usually find with four Catholics?

A fifth.

What did Hermoine say when she found out she's pregnant?

Fetus Abortus!

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

How do pirates know they exist?

They think, therefore they ARRRRRRRR!

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

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What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden?

Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice

Arkansa Jokes More Arkansa Jokes

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

Sooner or later they find a potent cousin.

Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

Kansas Jokes More Kansas Jokes

What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?

Baryon my wayward son!

How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch?

pay him for the pizza.