Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

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Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

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How's my baby girl?

Me: I'm moving back in. Mom: Your room is ready. Me: No, your uterus! Mom: Steph you drink too much

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

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How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess?

Go to your room.."

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Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?

She had mittens on.

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

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What do WNBA players make?

Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

Soba noodles!

Day Ago Jokes More Day Ago Jokes

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

What does a redditer say when he reads a joke on r/jokes?

We saw that same joke two days ago