Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road?

Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?

A: Leave it in the cow.

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

because he wasn't a fungi!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How did the date go?

Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.

Why don't all Libertarian candidates have dwarfism?

I thought Libertarians believed in small government.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza?

Most people like the idea of pizza better.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the elephant cross the road ?

Because the chicken was having a day off !

Why did the Catholic Priest cross the road?

To get to the school yard.

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves!

How do Reavers clean their spears?

They send them through the Wash.

Mattress Jokes More Mattress Jokes

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it