Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife?

Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you ?

An ATM machine

Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Who teaches you how to fart?

A tutor :)

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Trick Jokes More Trick Jokes

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick-or-trout!"

Why don't you ever see black people on cruises?

They'll never be tricked into that one again...