Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Previous Random Joke Next

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

How do people in Iowa get elections?

By watching corn!

How was the election rigged?

Through the Electoral College.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.