Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What travels down an alley and is full of holes?

Batman's Parents.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Why do the English always carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

When you know it is too cold in Bay Area?

When you see the programmer's hands are in their pockets.

Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload