Pocket Jokes

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls.

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?

Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets? A: To smell like big girls.

What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach?

A pocket full of shells.

Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s

When you know it is too cold in Bay Area?

When you see the programmer's hands are in their pockets.

Why do elephants have trunks ?

Because they've no pockets to put things in !

What do old people always keep in their back pocket?

Depends.

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What do you call a can of tuna in a lesbians back pocket?

DIP

Why is paper money more valuable than coins?

When you put it in your pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases. -

What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card?

One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets.

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?

Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!

How cold is it outside?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

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Rich People Jokes More Rich People Jokes

How did rich people get their money?

They were calm and collected.

Why are rich people so concerned with etiquette?

Because they have a lot of manors.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

What do you call a pig sitting on a hog?

Usually they prefer to be called "officer"

How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

Steeped in mystery!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's difference between Jesse Owens and Adolf Hilter?

Owens can finish a race.

What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

Tickle Jokes More Tickle Jokes

What does Professor Xavier say when he wants to be tickled?

tummy, my X-Men!

What does an octopus have ten of?

Tickles...

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What is the difference between a Gynecologist and a Urologist ?

The smell of their fingers.

Why did the guitar teacher go to jail?

He fingered a minor

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

What type of fruit is impossible to marry?

Cantaloupe

Big Girl Jokes More Big Girl Jokes

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?

Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets? A: To smell like big girls.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you find out that a cricket hears with its legs?

First, you put the cricket on a box, tap the box, and you see that the cricket jumps away. Now, you cut his legs off, put him on a box, tap the box, and you'll see that the cricket does not jump away.

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.