What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What drives you?

Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning M: missing the bus

What do Storm Troopers and Bone Thugs N Harmony have in common?

They are both going to miss every body.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.

What do a baby and a pancake have in common?

If its black it aint good

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens?

She didn't want to litter

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?

Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets? A: To smell like big girls.

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Kangaroo Jokes More Kangaroo Jokes

Why can kangaroos jump higher than a house?

Because a house can't jump.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!