Crazy Guy Jokes

Why does everyone claim that Steve Bannon is such a crazy guy?

He seems alt-right!

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What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket?

He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

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Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of planes?

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Claim Jokes More Claim Jokes

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

Mosquito Jokes More Mosquito Jokes

Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why did the left shoe marry the right?

Because they were "sole"-mates :)

What gives a ghost the right to haunt people?

A haunting license

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

What do they call an affair with a psychiatrist?

A psychiatric tryst.

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?

Because she thought everybody loved her.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

Cellophane Jokes More Cellophane Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane?

Clearly, I can see your nuts.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?

They mostly wrap.