Dot Jokes

What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?

Remorse code

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What time is it in India?

7-Eleven on the dot.

What do you call an apology written using dots and dashes?

Re-morse code

What's India's most popular dating service?

Connect the Dots.

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye?

He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)

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Connect Jokes More Connect Jokes

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What connects the computers in Sauron's office?

A Tolkien Ring network.

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

Apology Jokes More Apology Jokes

What's your birth certificate?

An apology from the condom factory!

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

Record Jokes More Record Jokes

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space . (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

Remorse Code Jokes More Remorse Code Jokes

How do telegraph operators apologize?

Remorse code

What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?

Remorse code

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows?

This is a bomb in a bull.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Why was the Texan afraid of the clock?

Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.

Glass Jokes More Glass Jokes

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Why dot net developers don't wear glasses?

Because they see sharp.