Goalkeeper Jokes

What Does Potato Do?

Potato dribbles one defender. Potato dribbles another defender. Potato is one on one with the goalkeeper. What does Potato do? Potato Chips

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What happened when the school bully went netsurfing?

The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

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Football Team Jokes More Football Team Jokes

Which football team to you need to connect up your computer?

Leeds.

Which football team loves ice-cream?

Aston Vanilla!

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

Who's the chief of the internet?

E-ronimo!

How do you call a dog that likes to be on the Internet?

A Labragoogle.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why did the man wear a diaper to the bar?

So he could save his stool.

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Football Ground Jokes More Football Ground Jokes

What happened when the school bully went netsurfing?

The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.

Why do people leave letters at the football ground ?

They want to catch the last goal-post !

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the thick yellow liquid that committed a crime?

It was taken into custardy.

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

German Jokes More German Jokes

What do you call a German physician who specializes in the epidermis of the scalp?

Herr Doctor.

What do you call a silly, apathetic German boy?

Agoofaloofagus

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!