Journalist Jokes

What do you call a journalist in Russia?

An ambulance.

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Coffee Mug

How often to wizard journalists get paid?

They make a Daily Prophet.

What do you call a Hillary supporter?

A journalist.

How do you make a journalist laugh?

By giving them ar-ticles!

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?

We just report the facts we don't change them."

What keyboard shortcut is extensively used by journalists who work for Breitbart News?

alt right

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist?

Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and James Corden all have in common?

Minority Bandleaders. Who says affermative action doesn't work.

How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What Hillary's word for a bribe?

Pay her and she'll speak to you about it.

Why do brothels support Hillary?

Cause #FeelTheBern would be bad for business.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a light bulb?

You weren't there, man!

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What's the difference between Texas and Russia?

One's a disgusting cesspool full of paranoid, bigoted, anti-American sadists, and the other is really cold.

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!