Public Pool Jokes

What is the pH of a public pool?

All P

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5.0

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Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

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Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

What don't elephants forget when they go swimming?

Their trunks.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

P Jokes More P Jokes

What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did one socket say to the other?

Stay grounded.

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Safe Place Jokes More Safe Place Jokes

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How do you make a starfish shine?

Drop it in sparkling water.

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his Greek sandwich?

There goes my gyro

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ?

She kicked the bucket !