Library Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

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What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

Why did the clock get banned from the library?

It tocked too much

What is the tallest building in the entire world?

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

What's the most dishonest place on earth?

The Library

How much for a happy ending?

Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

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What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?

Digest Readers.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What's the tallest building?

A library, because it has so many stories.

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

They were fully booked.

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library, it’s got the most stories!

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Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Why did the Native American feel so reluctant about booking a hotel room?

He had his reservations.

Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

The Naked Ape!

Barbarian Jokes More Barbarian Jokes

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a barbarian you can't see?

an Invisigoth.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

Why don't they tell jokes in base 8?

Because seven ten eleven!

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many BLM protestors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them.

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

What did the doctor call his new metal band?

Inflamed

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.

Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?

Officer: I'm making a house arrest