Library Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

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What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

Why did the clock get banned from the library?

It tocked too much

What is the tallest building in the entire world?

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

What's the most dishonest place on earth?

The Library

How much for a happy ending?

Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

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What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?

Digest Readers.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What's the tallest building?

A library, because it has so many stories.

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

They were fully booked.

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library, it’s got the most stories!

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Track Jokes More Track Jokes

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

Why did the train sound effect album get derailed?

The tracks were unfinished.

Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

What happens when you are banned on a muslim server?

you are turbanned

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Tall Building Jokes More Tall Building Jokes

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Barbarian Jokes More Barbarian Jokes

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a barbarian you can't see?

an Invisigoth.

Hush Puppy Jokes More Hush Puppy Jokes

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?

Hush puppies !

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

Library Book Jokes More Library Book Jokes

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

Why did Snoo not check out a library book?

Because he had already Reddit.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?

Angel food cake of course!