Library Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

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What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

Why did the clock get banned from the library?

It tocked too much

What is the tallest building in the entire world?

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

What's the most dishonest place on earth?

The Library

How much for a happy ending?

Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

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What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?

Digest Readers.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What's the tallest building?

A library, because it has so many stories.

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

They were fully booked.

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library, it’s got the most stories!

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Hush Puppy Jokes More Hush Puppy Jokes

What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

hush puppies

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?

Hush puppies !

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What holds the moon up?

A: Moonbeams.

What's the strongest letter in the alphabet?

P*** Even Superman can't hold it.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

What kind of guns do bees use?

BeeBee guns

Library Book Jokes More Library Book Jokes

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

Why did Snoo not check out a library book?

Because he had already Reddit.

Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

banned from the petting zoo...

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the domestic abuse victim?

See you next "fall".

What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided?

The doctor had to heal-ium.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

Barbarian Jokes More Barbarian Jokes

What do you call a barbarian you can't see?

an Invisigoth.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.