Purple Jokes

What would you call oranges if they were purple?

Purples

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What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What's the difference in red and purple...?

How hard you squeeze it.

How do you confuse a retard?

Say "purple".

What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?

Well that came out of the purple

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Purple Man Jokes More Purple Man Jokes

Who lives there?

The yellow man lives in the yellow house. The purple man lives in the purple house. The red man in the red house. And the blue man in the blue house. So who lives in the White House? The black man. It's better in person, I'm so sorry.

What did the purple policeman say as he threw the purple man into jail?

INDIGO!

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse?

I'm feeling a bit sorbet.

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?

A tourist.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

Skin Baby Jokes More Skin Baby Jokes

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What's red and loud?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What kind of oranges do you take on a boat?

Naval oranges. I'msosorry.

What is the smartest fruit?

It's the orange, BOY CAN IT CONCENTRATE!

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

Squeal Jokes More Squeal Jokes

Why were they caught so quickly?

They squealed on each other.

What's purple and sequels?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt. *squeals