Relativity Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

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How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

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Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

Why don't you have doggie bags?

Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.

Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Variable Jokes More Variable Jokes

Whats the difference between a redneck couple, and two variables in a dataset?

The variables aren't necessarily related.

What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset?

The variables aren't necessarily related.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

How do you make a hamburger green?

Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

How does Geppetto exact his revenge on Monstro the Whale?

Marry a net maker

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What is Santa's favorite type of cookie?

Ask your dad.

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments?

Very Djently.

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

Why did the cow get a job at Google?

Because she was out standing in her field.

How does Google clean their facilities?

They use Google Mops.