Wild Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one?

The domesticated doesnt have balls

What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

How do you spot a cheetah in the wild?

You don't, they're already spotted!

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100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What happens when Lucy starts using 100% of her brain?

She's almost as smart as a man.

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What is hard and six inches long?

my pen is

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

About three inches.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

Deez Nuts Jokes More Deez Nuts Jokes

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

deez nuts

Why is C afraid of D?

Because DEEZ NUTS!

Ethic Committee Jokes More Ethic Committee Jokes

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!"

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

Dolphin Jokes More Dolphin Jokes

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

Grant Money Jokes More Grant Money Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.

Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills?

They're always looking for Grant money.